God's presence in my life

Finally!!! No more intellectual thinking for at least 3 months!! No more having to think of arguments and theories and what-not!! WOOT!! I really love learning but I hate having to learn for the sake of exams.

Was just blog-surfing at the NTU FCBC blog (haha I should be loyal to NUS lol but I dunno the blog for our FCBC cell... but I got the NTU blog link from Reina's links.. and many posts are really inspiring and helpful)... and saw this girl (Geraldine)'s post:

"INDEED, God was with me throughout the exams!
where did i get my comfort from? where did i get respite from?
no, it wasnt from watching spongebob squarepants (which i really like to watch) nor was it from sleep.
but it was actually from attending cell groups and sunday services.
being in the presence of God, listening to God's word, worshipping God, fellowshipping with my spiritual family.

in the past, i put studies over service and cell.
oh, cannot study finish. dont go service.
now, i realise that we NEED THEM ALL THE MORE during these trying times.
before every paper, i will receive sms blessings from my spiritual family as well as fellow sisters-in-Christ.
i was and still am very encouraged and i thank God for each and every one of them."

Boy, that just stroke one of my chords. I did just that on Sunday. I was supposed to go for service on Sunday like usual. But I didn't. I was studying from 3am the day before until 7am on Sunday morning. Then I conked out. Til 12.15pm. I knew I could take a cab down but I didn't cos I still had some studying left to do. When Sharon smsed me to ask where I was 'cos she couldn't see me, I said that I couldn't make it because of the overnight studying. I could so sense her disappointment emanating from the next sms she sent me:

"Listen to sermon online... important truth."

I wanted to reply to her sms, saying that I know and I will listen to it. But I didn't reply. Because I was too ashamed. Was crying out to God last night, asking for forgiveness. I know that by choosing to stay home to study, I was basically telling everyone that I placed studies over God. BUT NO!!!!! Studies has not taken over His place! I so want to cry out to everyone to proclaim that HE IS THE LORD OF MY LIFE and His place is 1st in my life!! I've been pushing so hard, you know? These few months. I know it's going to take more than that. I've yet to relinquish everything to His hands. But I am slowly learning how to give each part of my life to Him. If only it were that simple, just adopting a simple mind/attitude, to simply just believe and act according to His will.

God has shown His realness especially during these two weeks. The Holy Spirit never failing to draw close to me. For all those 2 hours of each paper, I knew I wasn't fighting the battle alone. My every thought He was planting in my mind. Each idea and each argument I scribbled frantically came from Him. Those constant reassurances of Jeremiah 29:11, that I will do well and bring glory to Him. I know that He is always there.

"What other nation is so great as to have their gods near them the way the Lord our God is near us whenever we pray to Him?" - Deuteronomy 4:7