Why is my first reaction "Dawn Y_ _" when asked to give my name in a survey??

For many many weeks this stupid woman kept calling our house to ask us do a survey for her. I've scolded her umpteens times but today i simply gave in to her but with the intention to say "PLEASE don't ever call here again and harass us anymore. And FYI, please brush up on your English" at the end of the survey. it took like 10 mins to finish the entire survey. She first asked me what my name was and my reaction was to say "Dawn Y_ _". I really don't know why. Don't ask me why. It just simply came to my mind. Why did I ever think of "Y_ _"?? Why not Wong or Tan or something else?

I hate myself for doing this. I hate myself for letting myself get trapped in the past. Why can't I just move on? it's impossible and yet i hang on. I'm really stupid and foolish. Why is it that I can almost feel the pain of that someone else myself? is it because I always put myself in other people's shoes just instinctively? it's really no wonder why i can't help but can feel sad for ppl i've also never seen before. the other day i was walking to the MRT from Tampines Mall and this lady came up to me and I was wondering if she could just go away cos i was in a hurry. but then all she wanted was for me to buy a pack of tissue and i saw her twisted arm (it was really twisted at the elbow - it hurt to see her arm. then i stopped and asked her how she was paying for herself since she can't work. she said she had her mom to feed but had no job. i asked whether or not she'd applied for welfare and she said she was going to. i told her "muz jia you and not to give up". very childish and stupid of me right? but she said she will.

I think i've digressed a lot away from my original topic. so back to that again. one line says it all. i'm a fool to let myself be trapped by the past.