I just realized that I'm very immature for my age

I don't know why but I just find that in comparison to my friends (ppl who are the same age as me), my mentality is like 18 or 19 still. Sometimes I feel even younger and far more childish and immature than my younger sister who's 17. This becomes even more obvious when I compare myself to my best friend - she's born in November (younger than me by 3 months) - i don't know... Zhihui's always so mature and thinking about others and I'm always thinking about myself. She's always thinking about the future and looking for jobs but I'm like thinking about how to do well in school (cos I'm so stupid and always do badly for exams). and she's always so busy with her stuff and she talks about things like marriage with her friends - now i feel like there's a gap between me and her. maybe there has always been a gap. just that i didn't realize it until now. and probably i will never catch up with her cos she's always a step ahead of me. and it seems that I am always like this needy friends of hers who can't be independent without her. this blog entry just makes me feel so sucky all over again.

mood: pressurized/irritated with myself
currently doing: going to study for my 2 tests next wk