This week is very very tiring, both physically and mentally.. With all the workload piling on me, I really feel like strangling myself to death. Let me tell you all the stuff that I have to do, ONE by ONE (detect my sarcasm here-DETECT!!!)

1) PL3237 Project Report - I know I agreed to do this since I don't have to present - but come on presenting is so much easier than writing out a 4 page report and yes my group mates gave me some information but what the heck - it's so obvious they are dumping it to me - i mean my group mates are really nice ppl but a report all by myself is too much, especially when i have so much other stuff to do! - but I dunno how to say it to them cos i offered to do it so that I don't have to present - now i'm really starting to regret..

2) GEK1537 Project Report and Presentation - the report is almost done, except for a few things here and there - but that's ok - it's just the presentation part - I hate presenting!

3) PL2131 Scientific Report - I don't even understand a single thing about stats and I really want to pull my hair out!!! and i have to write 8 pages for this!

4) PL2131 RP Program - the bloody deadline is in less than 2 weeks time and I still have 5 more credits to go - i am so going to die this time.

5) HY2243 Film and History essay - the essay's due like next next Monday and I still have like 2 more essays and i want to die alrdy.

6) i can't write anymore.. i just want to stop - i dunno what to do or how to start..

7) i just had a talk with a good friend of mine yday about the end of times - abt the world coming to an end - she made me realize that i have so many things that i have yet done and want to do - she made me realize that these things are not as important as what they seem to be - my ambition of becoming a psychologist seems pointless - it seems like there's no time left.. and here i am - what am i doing? what have i done? what have i done?? i feel like i can't run fast enough to do the things i want to do.

i thought i could feel better after a run - i did - i went running yday at 6am - but i don't feel any better. i thought i would be energized by the run so that i could do the things i had to do. i don't. i feel worse now. there are so many things i want to do and i've not done yet.

1) i want to become a psychologist and help children with problems
2) i want to fall in love and get married and have kids
3) i want to live a better life with all the things i ever wanted
4) i want to help the people around me
5) i want to help my grandparents to become Christians, i want my sister and dad to return to church
6) i want my best friend to go to church, to believe in God once again
7) i want to do my best for God - i want to help ppl who have not yet met God - i want to introduce God to them
8) i want to help ppl who are in need right now - ppl suffering becos of Katrina, Rita, Wilma and the Pakistan earthquake - with all these disasters and what soh ping called "rumors of war" (something in the bible) - i really feel very helpless - the world is going to end soon and i can't do anything about it.
9) i want to do all these things and more - but i dunno whether i can. i know God has something bigger in plan for me - but i dunno what it is - i don't dare to face it.

and my studies - i feel like a fool when i attend my maths tutorial - other ppl ard me seem like they know everything - the same thing happens during my GEK1537 project discussions - yiming seems to know everything - he is so bloody intelligent - i really dun understand how his mind works - i feel so stupid around him.